


A Bag of Butts

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Childhood Memories, Friendship, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-29 21:13:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3910912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teenage Snape could really use a shower, and Petunia isn't afraid to tell him so.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Bag of Butts

~ A Bag of Butts ~

Fourteen-year-old Petunia scowled at thirteen-year-old Severus and told him in no uncertain terms, "You need a shower."

"No, I don't," he immediately denied.

"Your personal hygiene is terrible," she snapped. "Maybe you can't smell yourself, but I can from all the way over here and you smell like a bag of butts! And if your hair was any more oily, America would be invading it!"

"I do not smell-" he started to argue but she cut him off.

"A  _bag._  Of  _butts."_

"I don't-"

"A WHOLE BAG OF THEM."

"FINE!" he yelled. "I'll take a shower!"

"And you'll use soap  _and shampoo_ ," Petunia instructed sternly as Severus stomped up the stairs.

"That was mean," Lily said quietly to her sister once he was gone.

"It was not!" Petunia protested. "You may not have wanted to hurt his feelings, but you can't pretend you didn't notice that foul stench. Refusing to acknowledge it wasn't doing him any favors."

When Severus returned to the living room twenty minutes later, his previous scent replaced by something sweetly floral, Petunia found herself unable to refrain from commenting.

"You smell like a girl."

~end~


End file.
